“Sexual development includes not only the physical changes that occur as children grow, but also the sexual knowledge and beliefs they come to learn and the behaviors they show.” (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 2009)

To further reflect on sexual behaviors you observe and to determine what action you should take, consider the following student factors:

Culture & Family Norms:

Differences in opinion are the result of the diverse experiences and viewpoints within groups. Some families use child-specific language when they teach their children words for their genitalia. You may have heard families say “pee-pee” to mean penis or vulva; this is a common example of a child-specific word. Other parents and many experts feel it is important for children to learn the correct terms for all body parts. If you are not used to this, it may catch you off guard to hear young students use words such as “breasts” or “scrotum.” Language is one way family norms and culture influence children’s behavior and knowledge of their bodies and sexual development. See the document, Sexual Development and Behavior Terminology, in the Learn section for a list of anatomically correct words and definitions. When thinking about a family’s culture and norms, also consider other factors they have experienced such as trauma, deployment, and their formal and informal supports.

Development:

During youth, all behavior, including sexual behavior, is influenced by development. There may be differences between a student’s chronological age and their developmental abilities. A student who is chronologically 8-years-old but has cognitive and social-emotional skills similar to a 4-year-old may not feel shyness or modesty about others seeing their body. If this student frequently walks out of the bathroom with their lower body exposed, you would view this behavior with the understanding that the child’s social-awareness and self-awareness are less like that of an 8-year-old and more like that of a younger child. For this specific student, this may be a normative behavior. If the same behavior were observed in a developmentally typical 8-year-old, however, the behavior would likely be viewed differently.

Function of the Behavior:

When you observe sexual behavior in students you will want to consider the function or reason for the behavior. Think about why the student may have engaged in the behavior and how it benefits them, or what they get out of it. The same behavior in two different students can have different functions. For example, the function of the behavior for a student who creates a sexually explicit drawing following a trauma is different from a student who draws sexually explicit images on another student’s folder to get a reaction from them. Also, think about the cognitive and social-emotional development of students to analyze whether behaviors are reactions to the environment or more planned out occurrences. Even when sexual behaviors appear to be more planned out and intentional, many students, even those in high school, do not fully understand the implications and why they engage in such sexual behavior.

Frequency & Participation:

For most young children, normative sexual behaviors are usually random and infrequent, motivated by curiosity and play. In later developmental stages it’s expected that the frequency or participation in sexual behaviors will increase due to the physiological changes that characterize those years; although, they are less likely to occur in public. Knowing how many times a behavior occurs over a period of time and whether the student limits other activities due to more interest than is typical for sexual behavior will help you think about frequency and participation in the context of individual student’s development.

For example, a 14-year-old student masturbating in private a few times per week is normative sexual behavior because it aligns with their current developmental stage and does not interfere with involvement or participation in other activities. But a 14-year-old student that leaves class several times daily to masturbate in the bathroom may be exhibiting a different type of behavior on the continuum. While there is no definitive line, consider the context of the behavior and how it may influence participation in other activities to help guide your thinking.

Environment:

When sexual behavior occurs, think about the environment in which the behavior took place. A 12-year-old who self-stimulates only when alone in their bedroom is an example of normative behavior. One’s bedroom is a safe and appropriate place for a child or adolescent to explore their body and sexuality. If the same child were to engage in this behavior in the presence of peers and teachers during school, then you may consider a different type of behavior and action steps. Another important factor to consider is a student’s developmental age. You may know a student’s chronological age, or how many years old they are, however, developmental age is more complicated. A child’s developmental age is the approximate age at which they are functioning. All children and adolescents develop at different rates; some areas of development may be more advanced or more delayed than other areas. It’s important to consider students’ developmental abilities rather than focusing solely on their chronological age. If a sexual behavior were to occur at your school, consider the student’s development and level of functioning before making assumptions based on their chronological age. For example, a 7-year-old student in your class has a language delay, so you may think “His language skills are more similar to a 3-year-old than a 7-year-old.”

Effect on Others:

Think about how sexual behaviors impact others when responding to and creating action plans. A 16-year-old who watches sexually explicit videos on their phone with two close friends has a different effect on others than if the same individual sent a sexually explicit video and images to everyone in his school on social media. Who is affected and how other individuals are affected by the student’s sexual behavior helps you determine how to support. Think about whether involvement was (a) mutual or force or manipulation were used, (b) whether the affected students are annoyed, disturbed, or harmed, and (c) the age, size, and developmental differences of the youth.

Ease of Redirection:

Behavior that is common and typical is easily redirected, meaning that students stop unwanted behavior with developmentally fitting guidance and expectations. This is also true for normative sexual behavior. For example, two 6-year-old students are playing a game of “doctor” or “nurse” and are touching each other’s bodies during recess. Rather than asking them to “stop,” you can redirect them by suggesting more appropriate activities such as taking turns pushing each other on the swings. This provides these students guidance on acceptable touch and play while still fulfilling their need to be physically active. Students with sexual behavior that is outside of normative are less responsive to redirection and may express strong emotions such as anger when redirected.

For adolescents, kissing or hugging is considered a normative sexual behavior and can be redirected. For example, on the way to your classroom you notice two 17-year-old students kissing in the hallway. You remind them that they’re at school and discuss appropriate touch in school settings, such as holding hands instead.