Know

Emotional well-being during the early years has a powerful impact on social relationships. Children who are emotionally healthy are better able to establish and maintain positive relationships with adults, as well as with peers. Social-emotional development is essential to a young child’s sense of well-being. The relationships they form early on help shape who they are, who they become, and their understanding of the world. The important people in young children’s lives help lay the foundation for a range of social-emotional skills such as:

• Self-regulation
• Empathy
• Turn-taking and sharing
• Positive relationships with adults and peers

Social-Emotional Milestones

Social and emotional development includes behaviors that represent children’s emotional growth and their ability to successfully navigate their world through interactions with adults and peers. Through early relationships with nurturing and responsive adults, infants and toddlers learn how to be in relationships, how to get their needs and wants met, and how to identify and regulate emotions. Since these skills develop together, this area of development is referred to as social-emotional development. Social-emotional milestones focus on children’s developing abilities to regulate their attention, emotions, and behavior, and to form positive relationships with adults and peers. It is important to highlight that within this area of development, infants and toddlers are creating a strong sense of self and building relationships with others at the same time.

The chart below highlights the expected social-emotional skills of infants and toddlers as they grow. Keep in mind that individual differences exist when it comes to the exact age at which infants and toddlers may meet these milestones. Milestones are not checklists with which to judge children’s development. Rather, they provide a guide for when to expect certain skills or behaviors to emerge in young children, so you are prepared to meet their changing needs. Think of milestones as guidelines to help you understand and identify typical patterns of growth and development in infants and toddlers. Although the skills mentioned in the chart will develop in a predictable sequence over the first three years of life, each infant and toddler is unique in when they will master each skill. Your goal is to help all infants and toddlers in your family child care setting grow and learn to their potential.

It is helpful to remember that expectations about social-emotional milestones are driven by cultural values and preferences. Adults share their cultural values and beliefs with children through daily interactions. Ideas, beliefs, and expectations about child development are just some of the ways cultures are unique. Becoming aware of and respecting these differences can help you better understand the family experiences that help shape the infants and toddlers in your care.

Social-Emotional Development and Other Areas of Development

As we gain more understanding about brain development in young children, we continue to learn about the ways adult caregivers can be supportive and most effective in helping children develop and learn. This growing understanding also includes how adult caregivers can help children develop social-emotional skills. Through nurturing and trusting relationships, infants and toddlers learn about the world. Their brains mature through interactions, and they learn how to form relationships, communicate, respond to challenges, and recognize, experience, and regulate their emotions from relationships with caregivers.  

When infants and toddlers feel safe and have their need met, they are more likely to observe, explore, play, interact, and experiment with people and objects. These experiences lead young children to learn and remember new things. This foundation for learning depends greatly on the quality of the early environments and relationships, which we will discuss in more depth later in this course.

Understanding and Supporting the Social-Emotional Development of Infants and Toddlers

Now that you have read the milestone chart, let’s revisit the definition of social-emotional health according to the organization Zero to Three:

Within the context of one’s family, community, and cultural background, social-emotional health is the child’s developing capacity to:

• form secure relationships
• experience and regulate emotions
• explore and learn.

Considering the components highlighted within this definition, below are additional ways to understand and support the social-emotional development of the infants and toddlers in your care.

Birth to 3 months:

• The first three months are a time focused on helping an infant learn to feel safe, comfortable, secure, and curious about their world: “Your smile and gentle touch help me to feel safe and happy.”
• When caregivers respond to an infant’s cues with comfort and care, infants develop trust: “Your soothing voice and touch lets me know you love me and that you will meet my needs.”
• Infants use sounds, facial expressions, and body movements to tell caregivers what they need and how they are feeling: “I am learning how to tell you what I need. Sometimes I look away when I need a break. I may yawn when I am feeling tired. This may look different for me than it does for my peers.”

3 to 6 months:

• The infant is active, responsive, and increasingly in control of his or her body. “I stretch my arms toward you when I want you to pick me up and hold me gently.”
• Infant offers smiles and communicates with a gaze and basic vocalizations. “I am smiling to let you know I am ready to communicate.”
• Sense of security and well-being are totally dependent upon relationships with important caregivers.
• Emphasis is on routine and exploration—showing caregivers what they like and dislike, and how they prefer to sleep, eat, and play. “I am beginning to notice daily routines and the things we do together. When you turn the lights down, I know that it is time for sleep.”

6 to 9 months:

• Moving and exploring is the goal – infants become eager explorers who are thrilled to discover that they can make things happen.
• Infants are learning to solve problems. “When a toy drops, I look to see where it went. I expect you will help me to get it back. I then try it again to see if I can make the same thing happen.”
• An infant is beginning to understand that people still exist even when they are out of sight. “I realize that my mommy is about to leave me. I will cry in hopes that she stays. Being separated from her is hard for me.”

9 to 12 months:

• Infants are enjoying increased independence: “Please stay calm even when I demand to do things on my own. It is hard work for me to learn and figure out all these new things and sometimes I get frustrated, but I want to keep trying.”
• Infants can understand more than they can verbally communicate: “I need your help to learn the words for certain objects and actions. Identify things as we see and do them. Eventually, I will learn the words and phrases I need to communicate.”
• Infants enjoy doing things repeatedly: “Watch me practice and figure out how things work. Repetition is also helping me build my memory.”
• Infants act with a goal in mind: “When I crawl away from you quickly, I am not trying to upset you. I am having fun and do not want my diaper changed right now. This is how I take control of my world and let you know how I am feeling. Please talk to me and give me time to transition from my activity, and let me know that when we are done, I can go back to what I was doing.”

12 to 18 months:

• Infants and toddlers are watching others and imitate what they see. “I have been watching and am able to use things the way they are supposed to be used. Watch me talk on this toy telephone!”
• Infants and toddlers are using skills to explore and discover the boundaries of what they can do. “I may get frustrated when you try to feed me because I want to do it on my own.”
• Infants and toddlers are beginning to understand feelings of self and others: “My feelings can be hard for me to handle. I may become angry and have tantrums. I need your help to calm down and identify my emotions. Let me know that it is okay to feel frustrated or upset.”

18 to 24 months:

• Toddlers work hard to be in control, explore the boundaries of their experiences, and engage in problem solving. “I am beginning to sort things. Notice how I put my train cars in one place and all of my other cars in another.”
• They are increasingly aware of themselves as separate from others and are becoming more enthusiastic about playing with peers.
• They are starting to show negative behaviors (e.g., hitting, biting, and kicking) in response to frustration: “I may understand the words ‘no’ and ‘stop’ but cannot control my feelings and actions. Please be patient and help me when I get frustrated. Instead of telling me what I cannot do, give me alternatives to my behavior such as hitting a pillow or kicking a ball.”

24 to 36 months:

• Toddlers are using language to express thoughts and feelings. “When you started to put the blocks away too soon, I yelled, ‘No, I don't like that!’ I wanted to make a path for the cows before we put things away.”
• Toddlers are using enhanced thinking skills to solve problems. “I am getting really good at playing pretend. I can act out my own stories and use a bottle to feed my teddy bear. Sometimes, I feel scared because I am not certain yet what is real and what is pretend.”
• Toddlers take pride in their accomplishments, such as pouring milk: “Be patient and prepared for me to make mistakes. This is how I am learning independence. Acknowledge what I can do instead of what I cannot do.”

Supporting All Infants and Toddlers

Every child is born with their own unique way of approaching the world. This is called temperament. Some young children, for example, are constantly on the move while others prefer to sit and watch the world around them. Some children enjoy new experiences and meeting new people while others are slower to warm up in new situations.

In young children, temperament is commonly defined as the individual differences in emotional responses and reaction to the environment.  As Murphy and Moon (2010) describe, “infants and young children vary greatly in their interest in different sensory areas, in the intensity of their attention to sensory stimuli, and in their sensitivity to feelings of comfort and discomfort, familiarity and strangeness, and the emotional context in which sensory experiences occur.”

Infants are born with a unique temperament. There is no right or wrong, good or bad temperament. By understanding temperament, you can continue to use what you know about infants and toddlers to encourage their strengths and support their needs. In the Apply section, you will review more information about temperament and consider what it means in your role as a responsive caregiver.

It is important to note that no matter how well you understand temperament and are responsive to the needs of the children in your care, there will be times when a child may not appear to be developing appropriate social-emotional skills. The caregiving strategies in this lesson apply and relate to all children; however, some children may require an additional level of support.

Each infant and toddler has a unique pattern of growth. In your daily interactions, you should observe each young child’s particular strengths and possible areas of need. Your observation of each individual child’s development is part of your ongoing routine, and it helps you to recognize and celebrate infants’ and toddlers’ accomplishments. It also helps you to identify any aspects of the infant’s or toddler’s development that is not in line with the expected age range.

The following general strategies can help you care for infants and toddlers who experience social and emotional difficulties.

• Observe the infant’s or toddler’s cues and responses to environmental stimuli. Think about ways to limit noise level or visual stimuli.
• Look for patterns of increased frustration or irritability in the infant or toddler during routines or times of day. Consider ways to alter the routine to support the child.
• Think about ways to maintain physical closeness and to offer gentle touch to help struggling infants and toddlers maintain a sense of control.

You should always talk with a child’s parents to learn about any changes in routines. You may recommend that parents contact their health-care provider and ask about completing a developmental screening for their child to identify any possible developmental delays. Stay informed about any additional community resources and specialists who may offer additional support to the family or to you. 

See

Do

You can promote social-emotional development of infants and toddlers in several ways:

• Respond with care to infants’ and toddlers’ needs.
• Acknowledge an infant or toddler who points to a picture of himself or his family: “That’s right, that is a picture of you and your dad!”
• Model caring behaviors and empathy during all interactions.
• Read stories about feelings and show infants and toddlers pictures of people experiencing different emotions, like angry, sad, happy, and content.
• Build strong relationships with the families of infants and toddlers in your care.