Know

Children’s emotional well-being during their early years has a powerful effect on their social relationships. Children who are emotionally healthy are better able to establish and maintain positive relationships with adults and peers (Trawick-Smith, 2014). Social-emotional development is essential to a young child’s sense of well-being. The relationships they form early on help shape who they are, who they become, and their understanding of the world.

Preschoolers are learning to talk about their feelings and the feelings of others. Social-emotional development, however, involves more than just expressing emotions. It involves taking turns, becoming independent in following routines, interacting more with peers, engaging in meaningful relationships with others, controlling emotions, and developing a positive self-image. These skills are crucial for children’s successful participation in school and home experiences and for their overall growth.

Social Emotional Milestones

Both social and emotional development include behaviors that represent children’s emotional growth and their ability to successfully navigate their world through interactions with adults and peers. Since these skills develop together, this area of development is referred to as social-emotional development. Social-emotional milestones focus on children’s developing abilities to regulate their attention, emotions, and behavior, and to form positive relationships with adults and peers.

The chart below provides a closer look at how preschoolers develop social-emotional skills at different ages. Remember that individual differences exist when it comes to the exact age at which children meet these milestones. As highlighted in the Cognitive, Physical, and Communication courses, milestones are not checklists with which to judge children’s development. Rather, they provide a guide for when to expect certain skills or behaviors to emerge in young children, so you are prepared to meet their changing needs. Think of these milestones as guidelines to help you understand and identify typical patterns of growth and development in preschoolers. Although the skills mentioned in the chart develop in a predictable sequence over the preschool years, each child is unique in when they will master each skill. Your goal is to help all children grow and learn to their potential.

Remember that expectations about developmental milestones are driven by cultural values and preferences. For example, in some cultures, children are not expected to feed themselves independently until they are 3 or 4 years old. In other cultures, children are expected to start eating independently in early infancy and toddlerhood. Families share their cultural values and beliefs with children through daily interactions. Ideas, beliefs, and expectations about child development are just some of the ways cultures are unique. Becoming aware of and respecting these differences can help you better understand families’ experiences that help shape preschoolers in your classroom.

If you are concerned about a child’s development, consult your trainer, coach, or family child care administrator. Then, thoughtfully share your observations with the child’s parents. Describe the child’s behavior and the reasons you are concerned. Be sure to have specific instances of concern that you can describe for parents. In some situations, families might be encouraged to contact either their health-care provider or their local public school district, which can arrange a free developmental screening for the child and may help the child and family get support and resources.

Preschoolers and Social-Emotional Development

As you review the chart, it is important to notice that the milestones are associated with different aspects of social-emotional development. Some are associated with children’s ability to engage in relationships with others and others are related to children’s abilities to regulate their emotions. Let’s take a closer look at these and how they relate to preschool development.

Relationships with others:

Preschoolers engage in pretend play with friends and use words and sentences to express their feelings and thoughts. Even though they may still need adult support to share toys and materials with friends, they improve on their own as time passes. Preschoolers also progress in their ability to understand and appropriately respond to their friends’ feelings. Children with healthy social-emotional development have a balance of all these components.

Self-awareness:

Preschoolers improve their ability to control their bodies during different activities throughout the day (e.g., sitting at circle time or playing in the gym). They learn to take turns and have conversations with peers, acknowledge and use their own names and the names of others, and self-evaluate and know when they made appropriate or inappropriate choices.

Emotional regulation:

Preschoolers display a variety of emotions in different ways. For example, they may use words to share their feelings such as “I am upset”, they may match facial expressions to happy, mad, sad, or they may laugh when excited. At the same time, they improve their ability to manage their emotions to match the situation and environment and to control their emotions (e.g., separate easily from family members). Although preschoolers are better than toddlers at regulating emotions, they still need a great deal of help and practice developing these appropriate behaviors. 

Independence:

Preschoolers with a healthy sense of independence will follow predictable daily routines and activities in family child care, at home and outside the home, for example, at an outdoor playground. They may start identifying a favorite friend and ask that friend to play or independently play with toys and materials. Additionally, preschoolers who are developing a sense of independence may complete many self-care tasks, such as getting dressed, going to the bathroom, eating snacks, feeding themselves, or getting ready for bed. Independent preschoolers will also tell caregivers about their day and learn and use new vocabulary.

Emotional Literacy

Emotional literacy is a child’s ability to label and talk about their own emotions or feelings, as well as the feelings and emotions of others. This is an essential component of social-emotional development because it helps children understand their own emotional experiences and, at the same time, helps them acknowledge and understand the emotional experiences of others. Emotional literacy helps children solve problems and regulate their emotions; these skills are essential for success in preschool and beyond. Children who label, talk about, and are aware of their emotions are more likely to focus on and engage in daily routines and activities and less likely to become easily frustrated, have excessive tantrums, or act impulsively.

Many children learn to identify and discuss emotions through interactions or conversations with responsive adults in the context of positive relationships and supportive environments. In your program, you should embed opportunities for social-skill development throughout the day. For example, you can share your emotions about events or experiences and encourage children to share their own emotions. You can also read books that discuss emotions or social interactions. In the Apply section of this lesson, you will find additional examples of resources and activities you can use to foster children’s emotional literacy.

Supporting Preschool Children’s Social Emotional Development

Children learn social-emotional skills in the context of their relationships by watching, imitating, and responding to the social behaviors of others. Children also learn from the way others respond to their emotions. Social-emotional skills are closely connected to a child’s family, cultural background, and early experiences. Children learn by interacting and forming relationships with members of their families, child care groups, schools, and communities.

As highlighted in Lesson One (Social-Emotional Development: An Introduction), social-emotional learning begins in infancy, and adults are the most influential models for young children. Caregivers who understand their infants’ emotional cues and respond immediately and sympathetically have infants who are less fussy and easier to soothe. The same happens with preschoolers; if caregivers validate children’s feelings, address their needs, and are responsive and supportive, preschoolers are better able to communicate their needs and emotions and are more likely to demonstrate healthy social-emotional development.

Healthy social-emotional development is highly associated with responsive caregiving. Responsive caregivers:

• offer support and positive feedback
• provide stimulating materials
• play and engage with children
• share events and experiences
• follow the child’s lead
• support children’s interests and learning
• plan meaningful opportunities throughout the day to help children practice and learn social skills.

See

Do

Preschool-age children in your care need daily opportunities to participate in activities and routines that help them learn new social-emotional skills or practice existing skills in fun, stimulating, and supportive environments. You can purposefully use strategies throughout your day to support young children’s social-emotional development. Understanding developmental milestones is an important aspect of working with young children. Learning and understanding how preschoolers develop social-emotional skills and competence will help you foster their social-emotional learning and determine what kinds of experiences are most valuable. You will find additional resources to foster children’s social-emotional competence in the Apply section. Consider the following in your daily interactions with preschoolers:

• Be responsive to children’s attempts at interaction and build on what children say.
• Engage in frequent, developmentally appropriate social interactions with children and adults throughout your daily experiences and routines.
• Follow each child’s lead, cues, and preferences.
• Include emotion words in conversations with children.
• Make books available that discuss feelings and social interactions.
• Ask children meaningful questions about their actions, interests, events, and feelings.
• Encourage children to use their words and talk to their peers when conflicts arise. Use developmentally appropriate language and provide conversation models and cues for children to follow if they need help solving a problem.
• Ensure that you are sensitive to children’s unique needs, experiences, and backgrounds.
• Reach out to children’s families and be responsive to their beliefs and preferences.