Know

Think about how you use social skills every day. When you wait for your turn to comment during a meeting, receive constructive criticism from a spouse or sibling, apologize for being late, spend time with a friend, or accept the differences of others, you are using the social skills you learned as a child. You also use your social skills when adjusting to unfamiliar situations and getting to know new people. These circumstances can be difficult for many people, especially if transitions and change are hard to accept. As a caregiver for school-age children, it is important that you find ways to interact with other adults so that you can model the skills you are teaching the children in your program.

Children tend to focus on themselves and the world around them. They are working hard to discover how their environment can help them learn, develop, and imagine. They are focused on how they can make sense of the world around them and relate it to themselves. As children grow, they are expected to develop skills that allow them to interact more broadly. To do this, school-age children must learn to take other people’s emotions, cultures, and perspectives into consideration.

Social-Emotional Milestones

Social and emotional development both include behaviors that represent children’s emotional growth and their ability to successfully navigate their world through interactions with adults and peers.  Since these skills develop together, this area of development is referred to as social-emotional development. Social-emotional milestones focus on children’s developing abilities to regulate their attention, emotions, and behavior, and to form positive relationships with adults and peers.

The chart below provides an overview of the social-emotional developmental milestones in school-age children. As highlighted in the Cognitive, Physical, and Communication courses, milestones are not checklists with which to judge children’s development. Rather, they provide a guide for when to expect certain skills or behaviors to emerge in children, so you are prepared to meet their changing needs. Think of these milestones as guidelines to help you understand and identify typical patterns of growth and development in school-age children. Your goal is to help all children grow and learn to their potential.

Remember that expectations about developmental milestones are driven by cultural values and preferences. Ideas, beliefs, and expectations about child development are just some of the ways cultures are unique. Becoming aware of and respecting these differences can help you better understand families’ experiences that help shape their school-age children.

School-Age Children and Social-Emotional Development

When you provide care to school-age children, part of your role is to observe the children in your care. This can be done successfully, by using a variety of developmental guidelines to support children and their families. Because having a solid foundation of social-emotional development is crucial for a child’s success in school and in life, it is important to observe children and document their growth. Consider the following components when observing a child’s social-emotional development.

The Ability to Establish and Maintain Relationships

Relationships are the core of social-emotional development. A child’s ability to establish and keep relationships is a very important aspect of their development. This is primarily seen in a child’s ability to make and keep friends. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, friendships allow children to “broaden their horizons beyond the family unit, begin to experience the outside world, form a self-image, and develop a social support system.” Because relationships are so vital to a child’s social-emotional development, a lesson will be dedicated to the topic later in this course.

The Ability to Manage Emotions

As children grow, they learn emotional self-regulation. The emotional surges we see in young children, such as crying when separating from their family or hitting when they become frustrated, will begin to lessen as children grow older. School-age children will begin to have a better understanding of what emotions are and will be able to discuss how they are feeling. Feelings of sympathy and empathy for others also develop during the school-age years.

The Ability to Cope with Stress

As adults, we know that stress can be the result of a variety of circumstances, and it can be overwhelming if we don’t find a way to cope with it. You might cope with stress by going for a walk, spending some time with friends, exercising, or taking time for your favorite hobby. Other ways adults cope with stress are deep breathing, meditation, or visiting a therapist or counselor. As adults, we know when a situation is causing too much stress and we can decide to use one of these methods to help minimize the stressor. School-age children are just beginning to learn how to identify and deal with stress in their lives. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, the following are the most common circumstances that cause school-age children to worry:

School-age children are learning how to recognize what causes stress and how it affects their behavior. Some children may still openly act out their feelings, whereas others will keep their stress to themselves. We want children to learn how to manage their stress in a healthy and positive way. Keeping the lines of communication open with families will help you be on alert to whether a child may be experiencing a stressful situation at home or at school. As an important caregiver in the child’s life, it is important to watch for signs that a child may be overwhelmed with stress so you can help them cope with it in a healthy way. Common signs of stress overload are when a child:

• Develops physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach pains
• Appears restless, tired, and agitated
• Appears depressed and does not communicate their emotions
• Becomes irritable, negative, and shows little excitement or pleasure in activities
• Seems less interested in an activity that was once extremely important
• Sees grades at school begin to fall
• Has less interest than usual in attending classes and doing homework
• Exhibits antisocial behavior such as lying and stealing, forgets or refuses to do chores or tasks and seems much more dependent on family members or teachers than in the past

If you are concerned about a child’s development, talk with your trainer, coach, or family child care administrator. Share your observations of the child’s behavior and the reasons for your concern. Your trainer, coach, or family child care administrator may choose to observe the child and set up a meeting with the child’s family. In some situations, families might be encouraged to contact their local school district, which can arrange a free evaluation of the child’s development and can help the child get any needed help and services.

See

Do

As a family child care provider, you should purposefully use strategies throughout your day to support school-age children’s social-emotional development. You can do this by:

• Encouraging critical thinking, problem solving, and supervised risk taking
• Working hard to create an environment that is structured and safe and that allows children to learn and discover
• Demonstrating respect for others
• Providing an environment that recognizes, embraces, and celebrates diversity
• Providing an environment that is nurturing and inclusive to children with special needs
• Acknowledging the contributions of all children to the community
• Encouraging children and youth to experiment with a variety of activities, materials, and experiences to discover talents and preferences