Teach

Think about someone you consider an excellent communicator. Perhaps it is a family member, coworker, friend, or spiritual leader. What characteristics make it easy to talk to that person? What makes communication a pleasant experience? What do you and the communicator have in common? In what ways do you differ?

While we all communicate, we do not all communicate in the same ways. Culture, context, and individual differences influence our communication styles and methods. A mismatch of communication styles can lead to miscommunication. Bias around communication styles can lead to conflict, missed opportunities, and long-term harm. In your role as a trainer or coach, learning how to communicate using different methods will strengthen your professional relationships.

Have you worked, lived, or interacted with individuals like Jeff, Darcy, Aubrey, or Joan? Or do you relate to any of these descriptions yourself? These scenarios represent common communication challenges or breakdowns. We all experience communication breakdowns from time to time. Sometimes these breakdowns reflect individual differences in communication styles. Other times these breakdowns may reflect power dynamics and differences in cultural norms around communication. The purpose of this course is to help you learn how to be an effective communicator and to have positive interactions with all the individuals you encounter. This lesson will introduce you to the concept of communication and set the stage for learning about how to be an effective communicator with children, families, and staff in the lessons that follow.

What is Communication?

According to the National Communication Association, communication is “how people use messages to generate meanings within and across various contexts.” Communication is a two-way process. You send a message either verbally or nonverbally. The listener receives the message, interprets it, and gives you feedback. You listen and interpret the response. Then the process repeats throughout your conversation. Sending and receiving messages is the foundation of communication. Although the foundation of communication is basic, the process and power of communication is anything but basic. Watch this TED Talk video about truly listening and reflect on the ways your own personal experiences and knowledge of others influences your communication:

https://www.ted.com/talks/hrishikesh_hirway_what_you_discover_when_you_really_listen

It is also helpful to reflect on why people communicate with one another. Throughout your life and career, you have likely communicated to:

• To inform
• To motivate or persuade
• To start, strengthen, or change relationships

Different communication strategies help communicators achieve each of these goals. Communication strategies also differ depending on the audience. For example, effective communication with individuals, teams or groups, and the public all require different approaches. You will learn more about this in the next lesson.

Effective communication skills are integral to personal and professional growth for adults, but they are also essential for children. As children grow, communication is central to children’s self-expression, to their development of social relationships, and to their learning. Adults help children understand that language allows them to organize and express their views and questions about the world, demonstrate their growing expertise, and communicate with other people (National Board for Professional Teaching Standards, 2012). As a trainer or coach, you have two interconnected opportunities: to help staff members nurture children’s growing ability to express themselves and to nurture staff members’ own skills as communicators.

What does this mean for your work? You will help staff members develop their communication skills with one another, children, and families. In so doing, you will nurture children’s development, strengthen relationships with families, and help create a satisfying work environment for yourself and all staff members.

Culture and Communication

Culture has a strong influence on communication. This often shows up as stated rules or unstated norms about how people communicate with one another. Think back to your childhood and consider whether you heard stated rules around these questions:

• When and how do you apologize?
• When do you refer to others by their first or last names? When do you use words like “sir” or “ma’am”? How do you refer to elders in the community?
• What do you say when someone greets you or asks how you are doing?
• What do you say when someone compliments you?

Now consider the social cues you may have picked up from the adults or peers around you. Perhaps there were no stated rules about interrupting another speaker, but you learned from experience that it was OK to interrupt your sibling but never your grandparent, for example. Perhaps you grew up in a home where multiple conversations ran at the same time, or perhaps you grew up in a home where speakers were expected to talk one at a time. These experiences likely influence how you continue to interact as an adult and how you perceive others’ communication styles. Child development and youth programs reflect the diversity of their communities. You will work with children, youth, families, and staff from around the world. Learning to communicate effectively across cultures requires self-reflection, self-awareness, curiosity, and patience.

As you reflect on communication, it is also important to recognize the rich language traditions in your program. Exposure to multiple languages helps children build healthy cultural identities. Language is one of the defining features of a culture. When language is lost or undervalued, children may see their cultures as lost or undervalued. For children in the U.S. whose home language is not English, it is essential that their home language be encouraged, valued, and reflected in child and youth programs. It is also essential to expose English-only speakers to the wide range of languages present in their community and the country. This supports healthy identity development for all children and youth as members of diverse communities. You can read more about multilingual development in the Focused Topics course on Supporting Language Diversity.

Methods of Communication

Communication is how we make meaning of messages, and we all send messages in a variety of ways every day. How are those messages sent?

• Oral communication: The most common type of communication is oral communication, or the spoken word. Researchers have found that adults in the U.S. speak approximately 16,000 words per day (Mehl et al., 2007). Oral communication can be formal (staff meetings) or informal (chatting in the hallway). It can be face-to-face, over the phone, or via technology like video conferencing.
• Nonverbal communication: Communication goes beyond words. Consider the infants and toddlers in your program: How do you know they are hungry, tired, or happy? They let you know through nonverbal communication. They cry a certain way, root for a bottle, rub their eyes, or smile and squeal. For adults, nonverbal communication is a critical part of how we convey meaning. It’s not just what we say but how we say it. For example, think about the different ways you might interpret a wink during a conversation: Is the speaker joking, encouraging, or flirting? Nonverbal communication is more than just body language, though. It also involves tone, volume, style, touch, distance, and eye contact. Sign language is a nonverbal language that the Deaf community uses to communicate.
• Written communication: In many child-development and school-age programs, written communication is essential for maintaining relationships with staff and families. Written communication can help clarify expectations or alert families of events. Simple notes, newsletters, memos, bulletin boards, and handbooks are all examples of written communication that serve important purposes.
• Technology: Modern technology has changed the way many people communicate. Electronic newsletters, classroom blogs, program websites, emergency text messages, telephone calling trees, and other strategies are all common ways child-development and school-age programs use technology to communicate.
• Augmentative and alternative communication (AAC): For individuals with disabilities that affect speech and communication, AAC can replace or supplement verbal speech. Pictures, apps, or devices can increase independence and make the communicator more easily understood. Common AAC in child development programs include simple systems like picture choice boards, gestures, and books of picture symbols for common requests. Electronic devices that generate speech when a youth types or presses a button are also common. You may use AAC yourself when you use a website or app to translate a menu or road signs while traveling.

Context

Context determines what is communicated, as well as why and how the information is shared. Understanding context is essential to communicating effectively. Here are a few key points to keep in mind when it comes to context and communication:

• In an emergency, you must communicate the information verbally and immediately. You must be clear, concise, and calm. Emergencies are not the time for lengthy conversations.
• If you are communicating important health information, such as working with management to communicate about an outbreak of a communicable disease, it should be done immediately and in writing. Avoid jargon as much as possible and use bullet points to convey action steps. 
• If you are working with management to communicate a new policy or procedure, it should be done both orally and in writing. Change can be difficult, so providing detailed, thorough information that can be easily referenced is essential. Developing a plan that details what is to be communicated, whom it needs to be communicated to, and how it will be communicated ensures that nothing is forgotten. Remember: You will need to communicate important messages in multiple ways and at multiple times. For example, your program might include written information in the employee handbook about turning in activity plans, and you might send an email reminder about lesson plan due dates and follow-up in person if you haven’t received a plan. For another example, if you notice issues with basic program practices like hand washing, you might address the issue by communicating in multiple ways. This might include posting signs in the staff area, highlighting the importance of hand washing in the staff newsletter, verbally reminding staff members in their classrooms or program areas, pointing out the hand washing posters, and modeling the procedures yourself each time you enter a new classroom or program area. You might describe your actions by saying something like, “It’s important for me to wash my hands, so I don’t spread germs from room to room.”

Styles of Communication

Each person has their own communication style which is hugely influenced by culture and impacts relationships with others. Understanding different communication styles can help you adapt your own style to communicate more effectively with others.

In addition to culture, individual personality type has a great influence on an individual’s communication style. Perhaps one of the best-known ways of thinking about communication styles is based on the theories of Carl Jung and is represented in the Myers-Briggs personality type indicators. The Myers-Briggs personality type indicator (MBTI) was developed by a mother daughter team, Isabel Briggs Myers, and Isabel’s mother, Katharine Cook Briggs, during World War II. Myers and Briggs wanted to make Jung's theories more applicable to help non-military civilians select jobs during wartime that were better matched to their general inclinations and personality types. They felt this understanding would enable people to be more satisfied and productive at work. Carl Jung’s theory suggested that each individual falls along a continuum on four preferences:

Myers-Briggs then added four additional preferences:

Model

What do these preferences mean? They are simply ways individuals tend to build their energy, gather information, or make decisions. While the distributions of Meyers-Briggs personality pairings vary across cultures, there is evidence that the basic preferences are present across cultures. It is important to note, though, that the ways people express their preferences may be different across cultures. The behaviors people use to express introversion or extroversion, for example, may be different around the world (Kirby et al., 2007).  Let’s consider each of the preference pairs and how you can best support those preferences while communicating with others:

Introverts and Extroverts: These concepts relate to how people build and spend their energy. In other words, it’s about how people recharge their batteries. Extroverts get their energy through action and interaction. Quiet time can be draining for extroverts. Extroverts need conversation, stimulation, and activity. Introverts, on the other hand, build their energy during quiet time. Periods of high activity and interaction can be draining. Introverts need time to think, reflect, and process events. Contrary to how the terms are used in popular culture, Jung’s concepts of introversion and extroversion have little to do with shyness or outgoingness. So, it’s not unusual to see an introvert appear to be very outgoing in a work-place environment.

To support introverts:

• Providing time for quiet reflection.
• Using multiple methods of communication that don’t require face-to-face interactions: email or written notes can provide introverts the time they need to formulate messages.

To support extroverts:

• Provide opportunities for collaboration and brainstorming.
• Consider ways to help extroverts build connections with others.

Judgers and Perceivers: Judgers and perceivers prefer acting on information from the outside world differently. Judgers prefer to get things decided and perceivers prefer staying open to new information and options. Judgers like orderliness and systematic methods, they value efficiency and advance preparation. They do not like surprises and derive comfort from the closure that happens when they make decisions. Perceivers like to take things as they come and can roll with the punches when the unexpected happens. They prefer to keep options open by delaying firm decisions as long as they can.

To support judgers:

• Acknowledge their preference for orderliness and systematic methods at work.
• Acknowledge that you value their efficiency and advance preparation when they accomplish tasks.
• Provide a consistent schedule and clear timelines for tasks.
• Allow opportunities for them to experience flexibility when things do not turn out as expected. For example, you may want to help them understand that, in some cases, there is value in leaving options open.

To support perceivers:

• Encourage and value their flexibility.
• Understand that while they prefer to keep options open, they also need a frame of reference for some level of organization and closure.
• Understand they may put off deadlines until they approach.
• Provide opportunities for them to work on a variety of tasks, with deadlines they can help set.
• Work with them to bring order to the many ideas they generate.

Sensors and Intuitives: Sensors and intuitives prefer different ways of collecting information and learning about the world. Sensors prefer hard data, concrete facts, and information that can be confirmed with the five senses. They tend to focus on the present. Intuitives are more comfortable with concepts or theories, and they are good at making connections between ideas or previous experiences. Intuitives often look toward the future.

To support sensors:

• Acknowledge their preference for detail and order.
• Provide them with the evidence that supports decisions.
• Provide a consistent schedule and clear timelines for tasks.
• Praise the completion of projects: focus on the present rather than constantly focusing on the future.
• Allow opportunities for leadership roles that draw on their strengths in organization and detailed thinking.
• Give specific responsibilities.

To support intuitives:

• Encouraging and valuing their creativity in discussions.
• Presenting big ideas rather than details.
• Motivating them to envision the future and to set strategic goals.
• Allowing them to design their own goals.
• Grouping them with people who will value their skills.

Thinkers and Feelers: Thinkers and feelers use different strategies to make decisions. Thinkers like to weigh evidence and come to what they consider the most logical decision. They like rules, patterns, and consistency. Feelers make decisions based on empathy, relationships, or emotional connections to the evidence. They value connections and harmony.

To support thinkers:

• Give them time to assimilate new ideas.
• Keep your messages short and simple.
• Provide data and other sources of information to help them make decisions.

To support feelers:

• Make time for social interactions before and during meetings and events.
• Build consensus and focus on agreements rather than disagreements.
• Practice empathy and remain aware of your body language and tone during conversations.
• Encourage them to use their creativity to help solve common issues in the program.

Observe

You will work with individuals who represent all the combinations of communication styles. Thinking about your own preferred style and observing the styles of others can help you match your communication to the needs of others. If you know your own style preferences, you can self-reflect on communication barriers. For example, if you relate to the sensor style, you might get frustrated by the way an intuitive ignores details. You may have to work harder to communicate effectively with this individual. You will have a chance to think more deeply about your own communication style in the Explore section. This helps you go beyond what is known as the “Golden Rule” of doing for others what you would like done for you. It helps you live by what is known as the “Platinum Rule” (Alessandra, 2013): Communicate not in your own preferred manner but in the manner preferred by your communication partner. Make a point of providing thorough information to staff members. The more information you can provide, the less opportunity there is for people to feel uninformed. Also keep in mind the value of reminders; everyone is busy, so having a system in place to follow up helps ensure that you reach goals in a timely manner.

Relationships

Communication forms the foundation of all relationships in your program. Building and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships is vital to your role. Relationships require time and work to develop. Though they are not always easy to maintain, relationships are essential to the success of any program. Here are a few key points to keep in mind when it comes to relationships and communication:

• The effectiveness of your communication can either make or break a relationship.
• Open and respectful communication is the best way to achieve positive relationships with everyone at your program.
• Sharing confidential information with others inappropriately will derail relationships. Maintain professionalism at all times, and make sure staff members feel safe to share information with you in confidence.

As a Training & Curriculum Specialist, the ability to communicate effectively affects the success of your program. In many ways, being a program leader of a child and youth program is similar to being a diplomat. You are communicating with diverse individuals with competing needs and priorities. Effective communication can strengthen your interpersonal relationships and realign your expectations, which in turn helps you achieve your program’s goals and enjoy yourself in the process.

Completing this Course

For more information on what to expect in this course and a list of the accompanying Learn, Explore and Apply resources and activities offered throughout the lessons, visit the Training & Curriculum Specialist Communication & Language Development Course Guide.

To support the professional development of the direct care staff members or family child care providers you oversee, you can access their corresponding Course Guides:

• Infant & Toddler Communication & Language Development Course Guide
• Preschool Communication & Language Development Course Guide
• School-Age Communication & Language Development Course Guide
• Family Child Care Communication & Language Development Course Guide