2 months

• Smiles at people when they talk or smile
• Can briefly calm self (may bring hands to mouth and suck on hand)
• Looks at your face
• Calms down when spoken to or picked up
• Cries when hungry, wet, tired, or wants to be held

4 months

• Smiles on own to get your attention
• Likes to play with people and might cry when playing stops
• Imitates some movements and facial expressions, like smiling or frowning
• Looks at you, moves, or makes sounds to get or keep your attention
• Becomes more expressive and communicative with face and body

 6 months

• Knows familiar faces
• Likes to play with others, especially parents
• Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy
• Likes to look at self in a mirror
• Laughs

 9 months

• Is shy, clingy, or fearful of strangers
• May be clingy with familiar adults
• Shows several facial expressions like happy, sad, angry, surprised
• Looks when you call their name
• Reacts when you leave (looks, reaches for you, cries)
• Smiles or laughs when you play peek-a-boo

12 months

• May be shy or nervous with strangers
• Cries when parent or guardian leaves
• Shows preferences for certain people and things
• Shows fear in some situations
• Repeats sounds or actions to get attention
• Puts out arm or leg to help with dressing
• Feeds self with hands and fingers
• Plays games such as “peek-a-boo” and “pat-a-cake”

15 months

• Copies other children while playing
• Shows you an object they like
• Claps when excited
• Hugs a stuffed toy or doll
• Shows you affection (hugs, cuddles, kisses)

18 months

• May cling to caregivers in new situations
• Points to show others something interesting
• Explores alone but with parent close by
• Puts hands out for you to wash them
• Looks at a few pages in a book with you
• Helps you dress them by pushing arm through sleeve or lifting a foot

2 years

• Shows defiant behavior (doing what told not to do)
• Imitates others, especially adults and older children
• Gets excited when with other children
• Shows more and more independence
• Plays mainly beside other children, but is beginning to include other children, such as in chase games
• Engages in simple pretend play (feeding a doll, rocking a stuffed animal)
• Notices when others are hurt or upset
• Looks at your face to see how to react in new situations
• May demonstrate episodes of separation anxiety
• Drinks from a lidless cup with little spilling
• Feeds self using utensils with some spilling

30 months

• Plays next to other children and sometimes with them
• Shows you what they can do by saying “Look at me!”
• Follows simple routines when told
• Puts on jacket, coat, or shirt by self

3 years

• Copies adults and friends
• Shows affection for friends without prompting
• Plays make-believe with dolls, animals and people
• Notices other children and joins them in play
• Shows concern for crying friend
• Shows a wide range of emotions
• Calms down within 10 minutes after you leave
• Maybe get upset with major changes in routine

4 years

• Interested in new experiences
• Pretends to be something else during play (teacher, dog, superhero)
• Make-believe play is more creative and complex
• Dresses and undresses self
• Can name two or more friends
• Comforts others who are hurt or sad
• Would rather play with other children than by themself
• Cooperates with other children
• Often can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
• Talks about what they like and what they are interested in
• Likes to be a “helper”
• Changes behavior based on where they are
• Avoids danger, like not jumping from tall heights on the playground

5 years

• Wants to please friends
• Wants to be like friends
• Follows rules when playing games with others
• Likes to sing, dance, and act
• Takes turns when playing games with other children
• Is aware of gender
• Can tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
• Shows more independence
• Does simple chores at home
• Can tell you their first and last name and age

5-7 years

• Develop greater empathy.
• Establish and maintain positive relationships and friendships.
• Start developing a sense of morality.
• Control impulsive behavior.
• Identify and manage emotions.
• Form a positive self-concept and self-esteem (identity formation has begun).
• Become resilient.
• Begin to function more independently (from looking after personal possessions to making decision without needing constant support).
• Form opinions about moral values—right and wrong.
• Are able to express an opinion and negotiate.
• Develop greater empathy.
• Begin understanding different viewpoints.
• Start making more sense of “who I am” (Who am I like? Who likes me?).
• Develop a sense of family history (identity).
• Grapple with questions about death.
• Accept that parents are not all-powerful.

8-12 years

• Fit in and be accepted by peers (preoccupied with comparisons—do I fit in?).
• Have a best friend.
• Strengthen cooperative skills.
• Adjust to a sexually developing body and handle the agonies of feeling awkward and self-conscious (What will I look like? Do I look normal?).
• Continue refining a sense of self (fluid and constantly changing).
• Work out values and beliefs—often passionately adopt an ethical stance.
• Establish independence and individuality (intensely private, wanting alone time, displays of noncompliance at school and home).
• Behave appropriately in a variety of social situations.
• Refine communication skills.
• Resolve interpersonal conflicts—understand the difference between passive, assertive, and aggressive responses.
• Become more independent and responsible for actions.
• Value and respect rules and authority.
• Know how to act appropriately and safely in online social world.
• Manage emotional changes accompanying puberty (torn between needing the security of the familiar and craving the unknown).
• Develop more positive self-esteem and resilience by building strengths and accepting limitations.
• Acknowledge “who I am” through an optimistic lens.