Teach

Children experience a range of emotions, and those emotions are amplified when a family experiences a major change like deployment, death, divorce, separation, relocation, or job loss. You and your staff will likely work with children whose families experience these types of stressful events. These events mark an important time in the life of a child and their family. Each family handles stress differently, and each child will have unique needs. Nevertheless, you can use specific strategies to help staff members support children. It is your job to make sure staff members are competent and confident in their ability to support the mental health of children and youth.

First, you can introduce staff members to the Strengthening Families Protective Factors Framework. This framework is designed to prevent child abuse and neglect, but it is also an excellent way to approach your work with all families. When we strengthen families, we support the mental health of children. This framework focuses on strengths and promotes overall well-being. While it is beyond the scope of this lesson to completely explain the Protective Factors framework, you can learn more by visiting https://cssp.org/our-work/project/strengthening-families/#story . For now, you can teach staff that there are five protective factors that they can help support in all families:

For the purposes of this lesson, we will focus on resilience. This is the ability to manage stress and bounce back from challenges. It is important for adults and children alike. Resilience is part of mental and emotional well-being. For children, youth, staff, and families, to thrive and flourish, it is important to help build strength for overcoming adversity.

Remember, all families face a variety of stressors and challenges. For military families, deployment is a very real stressor and one that continues to impact families long after the deployment has ended and the service member has returned home. Families’ stress may vary based on many different factors like the length of the deployment, whether they live on or near a military installation, whether they are Active duty, Guard, or Reserve members, and the ages of children. Make sure staff members understand that deployment is a multi-stage process. Help them understand the different emotions families might go through before, during, and after deployment.

Seven-Stage Cycle

• Stage 1 — Anticipation of Departure
• Stage 2 — Detachment and Withdrawal
• Stage 3 — Emotional Disorganization
• Stage 4 — Recovery and Stabilization
• Stage 5 — Anticipation of Return
• Stage 6 — Return Adjustment and Renegotiation
• Stage 7 — Reintegration and Stabilization

Figure 1. Emotional Cycles of Deployment. Adapted from Morse (n.d.) and Pincus, House, Christenson, & Adler (2001).

Connect staff members with the resources they need to do their jobs. After staff or family child care providers complete the Healthy Environments course, follow up to make sure they can identify ways to support families before, during, and after deployment. Keep in mind that all families can be similarly affected by circumstances very much like deployment, such as: divorce, death or loss of a family member, relocation, incarceration, extended illness, job loss or unemployment, drug addiction, etc. Families facing these types of challenges may experience stages similar to the emotional cycles of deployment noted above. Help staff members understand that it is OK to ask for help.

Model

As a coach or trainer, you need to stay connected to the mental health needs of the children and families in your program. Make sure you know which families are experiencing deployments, divorce, relocation, grief, job loss, moving houses, adding a new family member or any other major change. Create opportunities for these families to connect with one another informally or through support networks on or near your installation. Also keep in mind that many of your staff members may experience similar life events. Listen to their concerns and help them find proactive ways to handle their stress.

Model a compassionate, problem-solving approach. Let staff members know that you are there to listen any time they need to talk. And make yourself available to families. Although they will probably build the strongest relationships with the staff members who work directly with their children, you can also be a strong supportive resource for families. Advocate for initiatives that will help your program support children, families, and staff through difficult times. For example, watch this video demonstrating how one program helps bridge the distance between deployed service members and their children.

Finally, remember the important role you play in modeling self-compassion and care. Model taking time to take care of your own needs. Go for a walk on your lunch break, seek professional support for issues or stress in your own life, or advocate for changes that will help you better serve your mission. For additional ideas, consider resources, articles, and calendars from the Greater Good Science Center: https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/.

Observe

Caring for children and families experiencing extreme stress can be challenging for even the most seasoned staff member. Watch for signs that a staff member is overwhelmed or experiencing stress themselves. Be prepared to step in and offer support. Read these scenarios on the left and think about how you would respond.

You should also look for signs that staff members are experiencing stress. Watch this video to learn more about the signs of stress in caregivers:

If you see any of these signs, recognize that a staff member might need extra support from you. Find time to talk and plan opportunities to relieve stress. Make sure the staff member takes breaks as needed and has the supports they need outside of work.

Take some time to get familiar with mental health resources in your community. The VA resource locator can help you find mental health supports for veterans and their families (https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/get-help/local-care.asp). The federal government also has resources to help you get started: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/talk/parents-caregivers.

When a staff member is ready, use the Mental Health Best Practices Checklist in the Apply section to observe these competencies in staff and family child care providers. Provide feedback about what you see, and be prepared to support staff members and family child care providers as they meet the mental health needs of children and families.