The chart below highlights some typical social-emotional skills that develop across childhood. Share this resource with staff so that they can learn to recognize the wide variety of ways children develop socially and emotionally. | Age | Social-Emotional Development |
|---|
| 2 months | - Smiles at people when they talk or smile
- Can briefly calm self (may bring hands to mouth and suck on hand)
- Looks at your face
- Calms down when spoken to or picked up
- Cries when hungry, wet, tired, or wants to be held
| | 4 months | - Smiles on own to get your attention
- Likes to play with people and might cry when playing stops
- Imitates some movements and facial expressions, like smiling or frowning
- Looks at you, moves, or makes sounds to get or keep your attention
- Becomes more expressive and communicative with face and body
| | 6 months | - Knows familiar faces
- Likes to play with others, especially parents
- Responds to other people’s emotions and often seems happy
- Likes to look at self in a mirror
- Laughs
| | 9 months | - Is shy, clingy, or fearful of strangers
- May be clingy with familiar adults
- Shows several facial expressions like happy, sad, angry, surprised
- Looks when you call their name
- Reacts when you leave (looks, reaches for you, cries)
- Smiles or laughs when you play peek-a-boo
| | 12 months | - May be shy or nervous with strangers
- Cries when parent or guardian leaves
- Shows preferences for certain people and things
- Shows fear in some situations
- Repeats sounds or actions to get attention
- Puts out arm or leg to help with dressing
- Feeds self with hands and fingers
- Plays games such as “peek-a-boo” and “pat-a-cake”
| | 15 months | - Copies other children while playing
- Shows you an object they like
- Claps when excited
- Hugs a stuffed toy or doll
- Shows you affection (hugs, cuddles, kisses)
| | 18 months | - May cling to caregivers in new situations
- Points to show others something interesting
- Explores alone but with parent close by
- Puts hands out for you to wash them
- Looks at a few pages in a book with you
- Helps you dress them by pushing arm through sleeve or lifting a foot
| | 2 years | - Shows defiant behavior (doing what told not to do)
- Imitates others, especially adults and older children
- Gets excited when with other children
- Shows more and more independence
- Plays mainly beside other children, but is beginning to include other children, such as in chase games
- Engages in simple pretend play (feeding a doll, rocking a stuffed animal)
- Notices when others are hurt or upset
- Looks at your face to see how to react in new situations
- May demonstrate episodes of separation anxiety
- Drinks from a lidless cup with little spilling
- Feeds self using utensils with some spilling
| | 30 months | - Plays next to other children and sometimes with them
- Shows you what they can do by saying “Look at me!”
- Follows simple routines when told
- Puts on jacket, coat, or shirt by self
| | 3 years | - Copies adults and friends
- Shows affection for friends without prompting
- Plays make-believe with dolls, animals and people
- Notices other children and joins them in play
- Shows concern for crying friend
- Shows a wide range of emotions
- Calms down within 10 minutes after you leave
- Maybe get upset with major changes in routine
| | 4 years | - Interested in new experiences
- Pretends to be something else during play (teacher, dog, superhero)
- Make-believe play is more creative and complex
- Dresses and undresses self
- Can name two or more friends
- Comforts others who are hurt or sad
- Would rather play with other children than by themself
- Cooperates with other children
- Often can’t tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
- Talks about what they like and what they are interested in
- Likes to be a “helper”
- Changes behavior based on where they are
- Avoids danger, like not jumping from tall heights on the playground
| | 5 years | - Wants to please friends
- Wants to be like friends
- Follows rules when playing games with others
- Likes to sing, dance, and act
- Takes turns when playing games with other children
- Is aware of gender
- Can tell what’s real and what’s make-believe
- Shows more independence
- Does simple chores at home
- Can tell you their first and last name and age
| | 5-7 years | - Develop greater empathy.
- Establish and maintain positive relationships and friendships.
- Start developing a sense of morality.
- Control impulsive behavior.
- Identify and manage emotions.
- Form a positive self-concept and self-esteem (identity formation has begun).
- Become resilient.
- Begin to function more independently (from looking after personal possessions to making decision without needing constant support).
- Form opinions about moral values—right and wrong.
- Are able to express an opinion and negotiate.
- Develop greater empathy.
- Begin understanding different viewpoints.
- Start making more sense of “who I am” (Who am I like? Who likes me?).
- Develop a sense of family history (identity).
- Grapple with questions about death.
- Accept that parents are not all-powerful.
| | 8-12 years | - Fit in and be accepted by peers (preoccupied with comparisons—do I fit in?).
- Have a best friend.
- Strengthen cooperative skills.
- Adjust to a sexually developing body and handle the agonies of feeling awkward and self-conscious (What will I look like? Do I look normal?).
- Continue refining a sense of self (fluid and constantly changing).
- Work out values and beliefs—often passionately adopt an ethical stance.
- Establish independence and individuality (intensely private, wanting alone time, displays of noncompliance at school and home).
- Behave appropriately in a variety of social situations.
- Refine communication skills.
- Resolve interpersonal conflicts—understand the difference between passive, assertive, and aggressive responses.
- Become more independent and responsible for actions.
- Value and respect rules and authority.
- Know how to act appropriately and safely in online social world.
- Manage emotional changes accompanying puberty (torn between needing the security of the familiar and craving the unknown).
- Develop more positive self-esteem and resilience by building strengths and accepting limitations.
- Acknowledge “who I am” through an optimistic lens.
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References:Leyden, R., & Shale, E. (2012). What teachers need to know about social and emotional development. Camberwell, Victoria: ACER Press |
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Social–Emotional Development: Infant to School-Age
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